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Six (Six Six) Of The Best: Movie Satans!

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From Nightmare on Elm Street to Heartless (an…uhhh…probably some others I expect…) our screens are currently boiling with the stench of sulpher and brimstone as faustian pacts are forged, ethereal barriers are broken down and nasty do-badders escape from the bounds of hell itself to inflict second-tier horror schlockers on our unwitting eyeballs -the Satanic rat bastards. Yep, Mephisto is definitely a guy who’s around for the long haul cinematically speaking, and while Heartless has Joseph Maul as a weird, voodoo-doing East End Devil, we’re sure there must be better ways to portray the one who walks backwards on screen. Oh, wait! There are! Yep, time to bathe in holy water, get Jim Caveizal round and hope it’s the power of Christ compelling us to sit through a bunch of shitty horror flicks, as we check out six of the best: Movie Satans!

1: Tim Curry: The Darkness (Legend)

Ok, so he goes by the name of The Darkness, but his clever disguise isn’t fooling us! One look at those three-foot long horns, fangs and bright red skin and we know exactly who we’re dealing with. Unfortunately for the erstwhile Frankenfurter, Curry’s decided to pick on the only being in existance more evil than he is – That’ll be Tom Cruise then. Still, scores extra devil points for his fantastically spooky arrival on screen; stepping out of a mirror. Well, a taxi doesn’t really scream ‘Prince of Darkeness’ does it? Easily the most evil appearence in Curry’s considerable repertoire (apart from the hotel manager in Home Alone 3 obviously).

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Long Live The Stath!

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Jason Statham.


A rumbling carved-from granite cockerney chancer and one time British National Diving Squad member: Perfect for low-budget crap like Death Race and innumerable sequels right?

Wrong.

As he cements his place in the international action fraternity in upcoming Sly mercenary flick The Expendables, it’s time more people recognised The Stath for what he is – an iron willed made-in-Britain action monster that STS bloody loves!

To prove it, we’ve come up with the following list to showcase his versatility, believability and all-round ass-kickery as an actor. Duck and cover, and for God’s sake don’t make any bald jokes as we look at the only dodgy cockney ever to trade up from Kelly Brook, and check out the best of The Stath!

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