Remember the 1980’s? They were well skill weren’t they? With your high-top trainers and body warmer you were probably pretty cool as you skateboarded down to the awesome new multi-screen cinema that opened in your town, hoping you could scope out some well wicked flicks and maybe score with some bodacious babes along the way.
So, you pay your £1.50 entrance fee and find that Tim Burton’s Batman is playing on 7 screens, and Back to the Future 2 is on the remaining 6 – woah; totally heinous dude! How’s a hard-core gorehound like you going to get his grue-filled kicks when every decent horror movie has been banned by Maggie Thatcher: Milk Snatcher?!
Well if you were resourceful, you popped down to your local video store/ice cream van, slipped them a tenner and got a dodgy third-hand VHS copy of Evil Dead, and possibly some crap German porn as a bonus. Or you could take the more circuitous route followed by director Ti West; Wait 25 years, then score some ancient filming equipment and film your very own hoary 80’s scarefest – with seriously scary results!
With Bruce Willis currently clanking robotically across cinema screens everywhere, the danger of being replaced is high on the public agenda!
It’s safest to assume you already have a colossally evil doppelganger lurking out there, ready to bump you off and slip into bed with your old lady as soon as possible – and she won’t be complaining, he’s got rechargeable Plutonium power cells!
Fortunately Hollywood has long represented the other you on screen, and STS has waded through a whole bunch of them –yep, even those godawful 70s ones with John Saxon – to compile this handy print out and keep guide to make sure you stay you!
Don’t go changing –It’s the STS guide to Replacement Thrillers!
Time was the most you’d have to worry about from the kids was that they’d hang around on your lawn, drinking cider, with their hula-hoops and their music television. Nowadays of course, Hollywood producers demand something with a little more ‘edge’, and so it is that Orphan joins the hellish legions of ‘Evil Kid’ movies balancing precariously on The Omen’s shoulders. Read More »
