If you’ve been paying attention since the start you’ll probably know that Chris Nolan has experienced a slight dip in quality over his career.
“WHAAAAA????” I hear you cry.
“But he done The Dark Knight and that’s my bestest film evar evar!”.
Yeah it might well be mate, but let’s face it, it was a bit clunky, overlong and had oblique and unsatisfying sub-plots aplenty.
Before that we had The Prestige (Good because David Bowie’s in it), Insomnia (Good because Al Pacino shouts ever so slightly less than usual) and Memento (one trick pony that still manages to end with someone from ‘Neighbours’ looking good). In my opinion (and it’s the only one that counts round these parts), he’s a trifle overrated. Not saying he’s bad by any means, just not quite the genius he’s made out to be all the time.
So – does Inception justify the hype? Can half-man/half-Brussels sprout DiCaprio ever convince as a leading man?
Movie heroes – you wish you were like that right? Kicking ass and taking names? You’d be so cool wouldn’t you?
Well, actually, no you wouldn’t. You’d be a boorish dickweed.
We’re not even talking about slimy Matthew Mconaughey rom-com assholes here either, in fact it seems that the cooler you look on-screen, the more of a spaz you’d be in real life. Men hate them, women can’t wait to escape them – we consider how well your big screen archetypes would cope in real life and quickly discover they’d be useless twats…
Han Solo
Oh sure, Han seems cool doesn’t he? With his flashy spaceship, hanging out with Billy Dee Williams. But seriously, would you hire him to tarmac your driveway? He turns up wearing skinny jeans and a waistcoat-attire completely unsuitable for manual labour- with an obviously intimidating ‘friend’, and demands half the cash up front. Then as soon as the cops wander past he drops the job halfway through, and when you go to complain, he shoots you!
Since Iron Man, Spider-Man and The Dark Knight reminded them how succesful comic book movies could be, and with Thor girding his hammer for battle, rubbish-but-marketable X-Man gambit getting a spin-off and Green Lantern about to throw his ring into the…erm…ring.. Hollywood is nutso for capes right now.
Unfortunately they don’t usually get it right, leaving us clutching our popcorn in horror as Catwoman craps all over our fanboy dreams. Luckily, STS is on the case, so here’s a list of characters ripe for the big screen treatment, and a few studios shouldn’t touch with a Kryptonite bargepole!
