Basically, you already knew that we’d love this didn’t you? For one thing it’s got Statham in it, which means it’s already head and shoulders above 99% of stuff on our Lovefilm list.
Add in Stallone, Willis, and surprisingly intelligent (PHD in Biological Physics apparently…) terrible Punisher Dolph Lundgren, and you can’t really go wrong.
Can you?
It’s UK election time, and while our political involvement is usually limited to drawing straws to see who pays for popcorn, this year we just couldn’t help it -we’ve got election fever! It could be the dreamy candidates, or it could be that we really want to re-use AVP’s “Whoever wins – we lose!” tagline, but we’re certain that only a multimillion dollar summer blockbuster can do justice to this Thursday’s clash of the political titans! We hope Oliver Stone is listening (he is. Oliver has spies everywhere…) as we match leading UK politicians (and Nick Griffin) to top acting talent and cast our perfect UK Election movie!
Robert Patrick is…David Cameron (Conservative Party)
Patrick’s movie career has been in freefall since he played a heartless crystal-minded killing machine in T2- just like the Tory leadership of Britain! With his cold, dead eyes and ability to go completely unnoticed he’s a dead ringer for David – admittedly Dave’s camouflage isn’t powered by future tech, he’s simply so bland that people ignore him, and he’s more than willing to drive a knife through the heart of families and utterly destroy blue collar industrial capability- just like the T1000
An Expertly-rendered preview of Worthington as Dracula...
It may finally be time for vampire-kind to shake of f the blousy Twilight romantic image –with MTV reporting that big bad Sam Worthington is in talks to don cape and widow’s peak in the Batmaningly titled Dracula: Year Zero.
Worthington’s been enjoying a skyrocketing profile this year despite his appearance as a half-man-half-convoluted-storyline in the ailing Terminator franchise, while popping up as demi-god Perseus in the ‘not-testing-well-apparently’ Clash of the Titans doesn’t seem to have hurt his cred either. Oh..and of course, there’s a certain animated biggest movie ever as well…
Variety first let slip that a new movie was on the cards detailing the exploits of Transylvania’s most famous export (Cheeky Girls notwithstanding), with Alex Proyas behind the lens. Rather more worryingly, the script comes from the haunted pens of Matt Sazama and aptly-named Burk Sharpless, famous for the intergalactic shit-fest that was the Flash Gordon reboot, and details Vlad Tepes.Esq’s fist steps towards virgin-eating immortality.
Do you think Vlad needs another do-over after the appalling Dracula 200? Or are Vampires passé –is it all about Werewolves and Ghost-Ninjas this year? Let us know!
OK, so science fiction films often have remarkably poor foresight when it comes to setting the date of their story. “No-one will be watching this in fifteen years!” they confidently cry. “We’ll all have burned in a nuclear fire by then, surely!” The most prominent example being 2001: A Space Oddysey and the best example of dodging the issue being the Star Wars saga, which is set in the past. Somehow.
In any case, despite scriptwriters’ determination to give their own work a limited shelf-life there is light at the end of the tunnel. Here follows, then, a list of things that society still has time to invent, implement and generally make happen.
Kyle Reese, The T-800, Sarah and John Connor. It looks like global recession may succeed where they all failed and knock out Skynet for good –if a buyer for the Terminator rights can’t be found soon.
“Terminator Salvation: It’s alright I Suppose” Didn’t exactly fire up the box office the way struggling License owners Derek Anderson and Victor Kubicek hoped, and now bankruptcy is a-knocking they’re attempting to flog off the dying horse, despite the franchise seemingly carrying a curse; bankrupting every studio that touches it.
It’s probable whoever picks up the rights will squeeze out another McG/Christian Bale shoutathon, although the future of Warner’s Sarah Connor Chronicles and related spin-offs has been cast into serious shadow.
We here at STS were disappointed in the post-T2 drop-off in killer robot quality, and we’d happily organise a whip round to raise the estimated $60Million value, but unfortunately we’re currently $59,999,997.50 short. Dig deep readers-the future is in your hands.
Unhappy with the direction Terminator has taken? Assuming it’s under new management which direction would you like to see the franchise take?
