Woody Allen’s latest has been out for a while in foreign parts, finally geeting a release here in blighty, but don’t panic -you haven’t been missing much.
So, Woody Allen. Let’s make this clear right now. He’s shit. There, it’s down on cyber-paper. I said it. feel free to add comments calling me an unintellectual pig who knows dick-all about filmmaking. I couldn’t give a crap, because you’re wrong and I’m right. Allen is a man who’d made a career out of one vaguely smirk-inducing moment in Sleeper. And that’s it.
Let’s make a Woody Allen movie together and see how Whatever Works stacks up shall we?
It’s UK election time, and while our political involvement is usually limited to drawing straws to see who pays for popcorn, this year we just couldn’t help it -we’ve got election fever! It could be the dreamy candidates, or it could be that we really want to re-use AVP’s “Whoever wins – we lose!” tagline, but we’re certain that only a multimillion dollar summer blockbuster can do justice to this Thursday’s clash of the political titans! We hope Oliver Stone is listening (he is. Oliver has spies everywhere…) as we match leading UK politicians (and Nick Griffin) to top acting talent and cast our perfect UK Election movie!
Robert Patrick is…David Cameron (Conservative Party)
Patrick’s movie career has been in freefall since he played a heartless crystal-minded killing machine in T2- just like the Tory leadership of Britain! With his cold, dead eyes and ability to go completely unnoticed he’s a dead ringer for David – admittedly Dave’s camouflage isn’t powered by future tech, he’s simply so bland that people ignore him, and he’s more than willing to drive a knife through the heart of families and utterly destroy blue collar industrial capability- just like the T1000
