Ho-de-ho-ho, if it isn’t being Saint Patrick’s day ya bloody bollocks, and as a special service to our ‘Of-Irish-Descent’ readers, its time for a patronising article that has bugger all to do with Ireland (and in no way increase our readership by being blatantly confrontational and obnoxious obviously).
Time to pick up a green plastic bowler hat (just like they had in the old country that neither you nor anyone you know has ever been to), fill it with dyed green cheap whiskey (because that’s what a true Irishman would obviously do) and check out the best, definitely, positively, Of-Irish-Descent oh-yes-sir-honestly actors!
Never mind Robert Pattinsons shit new film Remember Me, the only thing the Robsessed among you are really concerned about is this utter bollocks -yep, the Twilight: Eclipse full trailer is up, but this reaction video is far more entertaining…
With Santa set to shove his massive, pie-encrusted bulk down your central heating pipes at any moments, it’s time for the film world to turn it’s 8mm eye Oscar-wards, various illuminati gathering to heap praise on any worthy drama that hoves into view.
Generally, we watch any old crap round here – in the interest of being a representative, even-handed site obviously – from Marley & Me to Apocalypse Now,it’s all fair grist to the review grinder-yep,we even sat through Troll 2 once.
But just occasionally there are some movie crimes so cynical and heinous in their deployment that we’re robbed of even the enjoyment bought by bright shapes moving around a large screen.
Twilight: New Moon is one of them…