It’s January, and unless you’re a citizen of Guam, it’s bloody freezing outside. What better time of year to stay in, order a huge pizza and rent a movie?
Despite the demise of Blockbuster, it seems plenty of people are too technologically retarded or just plain honest to steal movies off the internet, with Netflix, Lovefilm and those weird coinstar things you see in the mall all doing great business.
So, Friday night and you’re renting a movie -what’s it gonna be? Maybe a piece of classic Hitchcock suspense? How about some arty Kirosowa? Of course not -you’ll be renting absolute shit -And we have the figures to prove it!
Here, for your edification – god knows you need it based on this list – are the top five rental movies of 2009. You should be ashamed!
More reasons to get excited – the new theatrical trailer for Kick-Ass! All set to preview at this year’s SXSW, a movie with a nine-year-old assassin and Nic Cage killing people while wearing his wife’s mascara can’t be all bad can it?
In terms of what you’d want to see at your local cinema, most of the movies coming in 2010 rank just below “dropping your Oscar Meyer hot Dog on the floor”.
Well, worry not faithful cineaste, for now we come to some slabs of celluloid you might actually want to see…and discover the law of diminishing returns is still very much in effect.
Wipe the popcorn from your beard and join us then, as we realise we’ve got piss-all to look forward to this summer, in part three of our amazingly awful 2010 movie round-up!!
If there’s one lesson we can learn from the movies, it’s never replace your dead son with a robot copy. While Astro Boy’s dad Dr.Tenma (Nic Cage) has to learn this the hard way, it’s a blessing for the rest of us as we get to catch up with 40-plus years of Japanimation in a movie that may struggle on plot, but is so eyeball meltingly gorgeous you won’t hold a grudge.
With All Hallowsmas fast approaching, studios are clamouring to promote their Horror product this week, and Nic Cage – yes, the southern, drawling Nic Cage – playing a 14th century knight in upcoming actioner Season of the Witch is certainly one of the weirder offerings scuttling from the bowels of tinseltown.
Tonally it looks fairly straight-laced, with a monstrously be-wigged Cage exorcising a woman who may be causing the Black Death, although the garish colours hint this could be treading a very tricky line between The Masque of the Red Death and Army of Darkness – no guesses which we’re rooting for.
Check out the new trailer and let us know what you think…
