Normally we don’t go for direct press puffery here at STS – prefering to think our journalistic integrity is worth a pint or two at least – but the 25th of February sees the premiere of Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland, and we’re willing to make an exception as the 3D extravaganza and the nice chaps from Disney will be transforming London’s Leicester Square for the event in aid of The Prince’s Foundation for Children & the Arts

The entire cast—including Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, Anne Hathaway as the White Queen and newcomer Mia Wasikowska as Alice will be attending, and hopefully we’ll be able to distinguish Tim burton and Helena Bonham-Carter from the drunks stumbling out of Chinatown as the entire place gets it’s bi-annual scrub down in preperation for a royal visit (that’s HRH The Prince of Wales, not Stephen Fry).

We’ve already seen some pretty stunning visuals – including the (did we mention it was exclusive? we probably should) new image of Anne Hathawy above – from the movie, as Alice “embarks on a fantastical journey to find her true destiny and end the Red Queen’s reign of terror” apparently. Oh -and it’s in lovely 3D – not sure how that works with the Cheshire Cat but hey-ho.

Alice in Wonderland is released across the UK on March the 5th on 2D, Disney Digital 3D and IMAX® 3D screens, so come on down and join in as we attempt to sneak past the bouncers and cram your camera full of celebrity goodness in aid of a good cause.

What with Monday’s anouncement that Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides will begin filming soon in Hawaii, you might think that the mass of Depp hitting our screens is about to reach critical mass. It seems Disney are betting against it though-which is why they were nice enough to furnish us with some lovely new stills from Tim Burton’s sure-to-be-massive Alice In Wonderland. Check out the Deppster in all his ginger glory above , and read on for an exclusive mini podcast with some sneak plot details, and yet more wonderful imagery -including a pic of Alice that caused several innapropriate outbursts among the STS staff. Whatever reception the movie receives, there’s no denying it’ll be beautiful to watch…

Check out our exclusive Character Gallery below:

A brave new decade awaits us, and what better time for Hollywood to face the future and bring us a bright movie going tomorrow?

Not that it’ll happen of course. Yep, Back To The Future part II predicted that this will be the decade when Max Spielberg steps up to the plate with his 3D Jaws XX, but the STS magic 8-Ball tells us there’s far, far worse than that to come.

Strap on your blinkers and pretend it’s all ok – over the next week we’ll bring you a comprehensive guide to all the ‘fun’ heading your way in 2010 – duck and cover for part one of our cut-out-and-break-your-computer guide!

1: Green Hornet.

Or: Who F***ing Cares? Learning absolutely shit-all from The Spirit, Seth Rogen decides that not only is he all serious and stuff after the awful Funny People, he’s an action hero too! Yep, he sure looks the part, the tubby f***er. Nothing says exciting crime fighter like a gut in a two-piece with a lone ranger mask does it? Add to this the fact that the original series was a load of ill-plotted, rambling, unfunny oh-so-wacky-hey-kids-it’s-the-ker-azy-60’s-man garbage, and Green Hornet is all set to be the biggest turd of the summer. People who think Pineapple Express is good will love it, but that’s because they’re a bunch of morons.

2: The Hardy Men.

Apparently this has been fermenting in the brains of Tom Cruise and Ben Stiller for a while, but frankly we couldn’t even be bothered to find out what it’s about. From the title I’m going with a wacky update on the Hardy Boys, those perennial Nancy Drew pokers, but updated as a hilarious, SNL style sketch a la Starsky and Hutch. That was funny wasn’t it? Is it me or has SNL never, ever, ever produced anything even approaching an amusing sketch? We’re not saying Skit either, because only a c**t would do that.

Proof positive – if it were needed that Stiller should stick to being really, really, ridiculously good looking, and Cruise should go back to planet Mongo and fulfil L.Ron’s mighty plan. No video was available at time of press. And if there was, it would be shit.

3: Clash of The Titans.

That Terminator geezer, in a skirt, with a robot owl for company. Oh, and Greek girls in short skirts, and a bloody great monster or two. This looks like it may be acceptable.

As an aside, every ship ever named Titan, Titanic or Titania has sunk. Every single one – wooooooo spoooooky. Don’t say STS isn’t tops for movie related news!

4: A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Apparently some people are terrified by the thought of someone with quite long arms hanging around outside their house, so this was a natural for the remake treatment.

Unfortunately Jonny Depp won’t be getting his bits chopped off this time round, but it does at least leave the floor open for a remake of Part II in 2011, possibly the most homoerotic movie ever produced. Seriously, check out the clip.

This will be rubbish, and anyone who’s scared of it is a spaz.

5: Black Hole.

Alas, not a remake of the Disney thing with the robots n’ that, this Black Hole instead refers to a graphic novel featuring a sexual disease that gives those infected horrible deformities. So, severe physical handicap combined with the wit of an Ace Frehley solo album – should be a laugh riot eh? Apparently David Fincher is directing, which means he’s taking time out from his other project Heavy Metal to bring us this gumph. Bad David!

Oh – did we mention there’s worse to come? Stay tuned for part 2…

Time to chuck that moldering Jack Sparrow costume out the window and get yourself an outsize topper for next Halloween, as our driends at Disey reveal the new trailer for Tim Burton’s hotly tipped Alice In Wonderland today.

Previously the STS staff only got near a set of playing cards when payday rolled around, but based on this they’re all set to be next years must-have fashion accesory. Expect Burton regulars Depp and Bonham Carter to be suitably nutty and degenerate, with Burton’s dark edge seemingly finding it’s spritual home as some wonderfully twisted takes on the classic Lewis Carrol characters lurk among the beautifully rendered backgrounds.

Whether it’s a big hitter or a Mad Hatter may be down to the script, but based on this it’ll be a sight worth seeing…