Christ this is bad. Not just regular bad either. Not ‘half-assed–I–knew-this-would-suck-Michael-Bay bad’. This is ‘Luc Besson bad’….
Tag Archives: Jason Statham
NewsGush: Crank 3D!
0 CommentsJanuary 28, 2010 – 10:24 am
We’ve seen his heart, we’ve seen his nipples, we’ve even seen him pork his girlfriend in the middle of a shopping mall to a standing ovation. And now we get to see Jason Statham’s bloody ludicrous hitman Chev Chelios..in 3D!!
Fuck yeah.
Speaking to the slightly more respectable dudes over at TheFilmStage, Crank Co-Writer and Director Brian Taylor spilled the beans on the further adventures of The Stath’s mechanical heart/jacked-up-on “Chinese Shit” indestructidude: “I already have a storyline in place for Crank 3 – I think it’ll be in 3D”.
What peril remains to trouble a man who survived falling 10,000 feet from a helicopter? More importantly, what strategic McGuffins will be dropped to keep the baldy hard-man functioning this time round? Being 3D, we’re betting on fireworks and/or long, pointy objects.
2010 Movie Round-Up Part II – The Idiots Strike Back
3 CommentsJanuary 2, 2010 – 6:52 pm
After spending New Years Day cleaning what, for argument’s sake, we’ll assume was mud mixed with chewing gum off the office floor, we finally had time to carry on checking out all the new movies crawling out of the toilet to infect your eyeballs like refugees from an early Cronenberg movie in the new year. Yep, it’s part two of our craptabulous round up of the biggest, worstest flicks of 2010!
Sherlock Holmes
0 CommentsDecember 17, 2009 – 10:26 pm
It’s fair to say that the studio took a gamble appointing Guy Ritchie to head up this sumptuous return to Holmsian London -the director’s previous, Rocknrolla took a piffling $6M in the US – but you can certainly see where the idea came from –who better to guide us on a romp through the gas lit streets than Guy bonafide mockney bowbells me old son Ritchie dotchaknow missus. It’s woolly thinking, and it reaps its own rewards, turning Conan-Doyle’s most famous creation into a semi action hero with downplayed detective skills and an appalling case of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen syndrome.
Newsgush: Expendibles Trailer Online!
0 CommentsOctober 16, 2009 – 1:50 pm
Stallone’s upcoming beefcake-fest The Expendibles has put the entire STS office into fits of full-on 80s fanboy fever, so it’s with baited breath that we snuck a peek at this extended promo reel that’s popped up online today (Unfortunately it didn’t last long before the killjoys at Lionsgate whipped it off, so here’s some top notch behind the scenes footage instead).
Packed with the kind of cheesy one-liners and bone-smashing action we’ve been praying for, it looks like this could well live up to the OTT expectations of legions of cinema-goers who feel like crazed, musclebound jungle actioners have been somewhat absent of late.
