“He’s doing that voice so it looks like Pirates of The Caribbean”. Wise words indeed from an American friend who sadly missed the unique experience that growing up in Dorset entails. It’s worth pointing out that other helpful advice emanating from this camp included “This is such a Conan rip-off…”

Mixed geneology aside, Kane is a bloody ridiculous dollop of Sword & Sort-Of Sorcery that delves deep into the dark heart of 15th century Britain with some surprisingly good results.

Director Michael J. Bassett has obviously been rewatching the Lord of the Rings trilogy before embarking on filming, but his intensity pays off in his favour, the comparatively tiny budget threading the film with a Hammer Horror sensibility that adds a delicious sense of delirium to proceedings.

The various jobbing thesps put in some great (devilled) hammy performances that stay just the right side of stupid, special nods go to Pete Postlethwaite and Max Von Sydow’s perfectly cast support, providing enough shouty Ac-Torly weight to stop things getting out of hand, but there can be no doubt that this is James Purefoy’s show.

Oi am a zoider driiinkeeer...

His native Somerset tones add a touch of silliness to some of the overly-ripe dialogue, but no more than Arnie’s did for Robert E.Howard’s other, more famous creation 25 years ago. Purefoy is just so fantastically intense here, grimacing and gurning his way through scenes as though his life depends on it, and showing some super sharp action hero moves that should guarantee him a step-up in the blockbuster stakes.

Plotwise it’s typically thin but workable stuff – Kane is a bad dude, so bad in fact that Hell’s own demons pop up early on to tell him that he’s soon to join the choir infernal. One quick conversion to Puritanism later and Soloman is working hard to redeem himself, when –wouldn’t you know it – up pops an eeeeevil sorcerer and steals a local girl, forcing Kane to unleash his Ass-Kicking talents – basically think of this as Unforgiven with no subtext and a ton of added explosions, demons and screechy scenes from – one of the few sour notes – a mis-cast Jason Flemying.

One of the distinct features of all Howard’s magical landscapes was the lack of grandeur, so don’t come to this expecting duelling wizards, instead Soloman Kane keeps it’s sorcery on the hush-hush – at least until the final histrionic showdown – coming across closer to Highlander than Hobbit, and it’s all played so fantastically straight-faced that it dares you not to revel in the action and immerse yourself in the ridiculous world.

A dark, brooding piece of low fantasy that ticks all the right boxes for fans of brutal action looking to forget the terrible likes f Dungeon Quest. Fast, fun and black as pitch.

Blah blah blah Lord of the Rings dude blah blah blah murdered child blah blah blah based on Alice Sebold’s bestseller blah blah blah…

The weight of sure-fire hit mix expectations and complex emotionally and intellectually stimulating source material should be enough to weight The Lovely Bones down in it’s grave, and after his giant monkey mis-step, it’s surprising and heartening to see Jackson deliver a mature fantasy thriller, although he struggles to keep multiple plot-threads from unravelling.

While not entirely successful, it’s testament to Jackson’s filmmaking skill that he manages to keep as many plates spinning as he does, Following sparky but idiotically named Teen Susie Salmon through the afterlife as she influences her family’s lives after neighbour George Harvey grooms and then murders her. Despite the heavy subject matter and 2-hour plus running time, the film carries it’s load lightly, flitting from teen romance to gripping police thriller, and taking a tour through a super-stylised expressionist purgatory that revels in glorious imagery.

While solid support comes from Weisz and Wahlberg as grieving parents, it’s Tucci’s turn as the meticulous killer that stands out. His mannered performance massively distanced from ER’s Dr. Kevin Moretti or any of his more usual light-hearted rom-com turns. The whole thing buries itself in the concept of world building, characters stacking their own odds, with the film moving into meta territory as Harvey rearranges his perfectly set out doll’s house, trapped through his inability to make the ideal setting real. While the Earthbound characters struggle with grief however, the afterlife is a vibrant, wonderful place full of startling imagery –the fleet of ships-in-bottles a particular standout – that ditches Sebold’s original concept in favour of a paean to filmmaking excess that deftly avoids falling into What Dreams May Come Territory and instead remains poignant without becoming sentimental or saccharine.

Saoirse Ronan - Intense, innocent and thoroughly believable.

That isn’t to say that Earthly matters take a back seat here however, as Rose McIver carries a brilliant, terse detective sequence, while there are fine turns from supporters like Susan Sarandon, and even Reece Ritchie manages to avoid the more typical Hollywood visions of Englishness as love interest Ray. In the lead, Saoirse Ronan is great. Intense, innocent and thoroughly believable as Susie, a heartbreaking mixture of naivety and assurance that perfectly captures the teenage condition.

If there are complaints, it’s that the murder itself is hardly depicted as a graphic act, being slightly rushed and while brooded on, it lacks the physical resonance captured in the book. Fortunately Jackson is skilled enough to realise that we don’t need excessive gore – a strange remark about the director of BrainDead to be sure – but instead concentrates on the far more distressing emotional trauma left in the act’s wake.

While not an unqualified success, The Lovely Bones is one of the most daring and captivating examples of filmmaking to hit screens in a long while and deserves every critical back slap and commercial dollar. A strong, inspiring and eminently watchable piece of cinema.

News in from Heat Vision about the expanding of upcoming interstellar epic John Carpenter of Mars.

James Purefoy, Mark Strong and Thomas Haden Church will all be getting their asses to the red planet to hook up with Taylor Kitsch –you may have seen him previously lurking in Wolverine – Samantha Morton and Willem Dafoe.

No news on a Director yet, but Spider-Man 2 writer Michael Chabon is adapting Edgar Rice Burrough’s lysergic tale of a US Civil War veteran transported to a colourful alien world of 10 foot tall, four-limbed Martian warriors, exotic princesses and balding, godlike beings.

Sounding like the kind of wildly original, incredibly ambitious set-up that’s normally reserved for animation, STS is already jiggling about in anticipation.

What do you think? Is this the new Star Wars, or the Star Wars prequels?

Confirmed goth, Tim Burton has long tried to craft a reputation for ghoulish, fantastical work, and seems to be succeeding in securing larger and larger budgets despite his movies only appealing to teenage girls with blue hair and socks on their hands.

While USA Today has called the concept art for his latest reimagining (read: no original material) Alice In Wonderland proof that Burton is ‘attuned to the fantastic’, the concept art released today is certainly pretty, but it seems like we’re in for another helping of style over substance.

All the usual suspects line up for the advance posters, Depp as the mad hatter, Big-Bonced Bonham Carter as the red queen and, natch, Christopher Lee lurking in the background.

On the plus side, there is relative newcomer Mia Wasikowska in the title role, although it’s hard to shake the feeling that a passing resemblance to Winona may have helped her audition along. Still, she’s been pretty solid in HBO’s Treatment, so here’s hoping she can keep the film grounded in reality and prevent too much kooky, ooky, Burtonization from sucking all the tension and drama out in favour of Chitty Bang Bang cutesyness.

Check out the full interactive images courtesy of USA Today.