Hitler! Stalin! Ming The Mercyless! Names that live on in the annals of infamy. There’s no denying it; people love a good villain, and remember them too! So why are so many of them..well… a bit shit? We run through some of cinema’s baddest muthas and discover that they really aren’t all that great! In fact, most filmic menaces are a bunch of yakkety idiots with nothing better to do – it’s The Worst Villains In Cinema!
With Star Trek currently warping up the DVD/Blu-ray charts as Kirk and Co. make a triumphant return to the big screen with the promise of even better to come, here at STS we thought we’d spare a thought for that other massive space franchise that’s been sadly humbled of late, victim of shoddy prequels and dodgy Saturday morning cartoon shows- Star Wars is not the all-conquering merchandise Death Star it once was.
Despite these varying fortunes however, around the STS office ..Empire is still on a constant loop, the first three films unarguably some of the best movies ever made.
So – who’s the best? It’s a toughie, which is why we’ve rated both sides according to strict criteria and let these twin titans of star-spanning adventure battle it out for the prize in: Star Wars Vs Star Trek!
Fig 1: Darth Vader looking nonplussed.
Star Wars!
A trilogy that stands as the defining cinematic experience for an entire generation. It pushed technical standards, birthing the entire SFX industry, and merged legendary story cycles with space-age fantast to stunning effect. Certainly a DVD/Blu-Ray box set worth investing in right? Well, if you’re still unsure, why not check out the amazing reviews available on amazon:
..I AM A BIG FAN OF MOVIES..WORKING IN A VIDEOSHOP / AND WORKED IN A CINEMA FOR YEARS.. I WATCHED ALL THE CLAASIC FILMS..WHAT I DONT UNDERSTAND IS WHY STAR WARS IS SUPPOSE TO BE THE BEST FILM.. ITS BORING / WHACKY STORYLINE / ANNOYING CHARACTERS.. DARTH VADER HAS SOME KIND OF MAGIC POWERS..(NECK TWIST BY FORCE?? OR SOMETHING) THATS ALL HE HAS TO DO TO KILL THEM ALL.BUT HE HAS SWORD FIGHTS INSTEAD..??? THERES A SCENE WHERE LOADS OF WHITE ROBOTS SHOOT AT HARRISON FORD. ITS WORSER THEN A BOLLYWOOD FILM..NOT A SINGLE LASER BULLET HITS HARRISON??
STS isn’t going to argue with this, because he’s a professional-he’s worked in a video shop. To be fair, we didn’t think you still got video shops – but it’s certainly changed our fuddy-duddy ideas about actually watching a movie before we talk about it!
Feel free to check out the incisive commentary here!
“I knew It! I’m surrounded by assholes!” Wise words indeed as Gunner’s Mate, First Class Phillip J. Asshole (Recently promoted by his cousin Major Asshole) confirms Dark Helmet’s deepest fears in that classic piece of modern cinema, Spaceballs. But the asshole isn’t just a comedy device by any means.
Think of any movie -which character really stays with you? The Hero? Nah, too goody-goody. Sure some are memorable, but it’s mainly when they behave like pricks, throwing people off buildings and slapping them around in the name of justice that we really like them. How about the villain? Yeah yeah, Darth was imposing enough, and The Terminator is a stone cold killer, but did they bring anything new to the table? The one thing guaranteed to elevate these two dimensional stereotypes above the pack is the pithy one-liner, the sneering self confidence to do what the other guy won’t, and to hell with what anyone thinks.
In short, being a dick.
In art, as in life, behaving like a real shit rules rules, which is why STS decided to weed out the greatest gits in cinematic history and leave their cheese out in the wind (tm Mr. Rooney -Ferris Bueller’s day off). Yep, it’s Six of The Best: Movie Assholes!
