Christ this is bad. Not just regular bad either. Not ‘half-assed–I–knew-this-would-suck-Michael-Bay bad’. This is ‘Luc Besson bad’….
Tag Archives: crank
NewsGush: Crank 3D!
0 CommentsJanuary 28, 2010 – 10:24 am
We’ve seen his heart, we’ve seen his nipples, we’ve even seen him pork his girlfriend in the middle of a shopping mall to a standing ovation. And now we get to see Jason Statham’s bloody ludicrous hitman Chev Chelios..in 3D!!
Fuck yeah.
Speaking to the slightly more respectable dudes over at TheFilmStage, Crank Co-Writer and Director Brian Taylor spilled the beans on the further adventures of The Stath’s mechanical heart/jacked-up-on “Chinese Shit” indestructidude: “I already have a storyline in place for Crank 3 – I think it’ll be in 3D”.
What peril remains to trouble a man who survived falling 10,000 feet from a helicopter? More importantly, what strategic McGuffins will be dropped to keep the baldy hard-man functioning this time round? Being 3D, we’re betting on fireworks and/or long, pointy objects.
NewsGush: Crank Up The TV
0 CommentsNovember 2, 2009 – 3:09 pm
Far be it for us to diss the movies, but with the likes of 24 and..erm…Relic Hunter…the small screen has long had more than it’s fair share of high-octane action. Fortunately for those of us who prefer Cinema’s unique buzz, Crank directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor have decided to combine the two, pitching an hour-long drama to NBC this week.
Given the sheer lunacy the pair bought to the Stath-starring mechanical heart/synthetic drug explosion-a-thons, the series-tentatively titled Zeroes – has a lot to live up to, but the pair aren’t worried;
“We want to drop right into it and sustain the absolute most berserk state of crisis, when all of the options have been exhausted” says Taylor in the Hollywood Reporter.
What do you think-can the human brain take 26 episodes of berserk? Or should they stick to the DVD market?
Long Live The Stath!
0 CommentsSeptember 28, 2009 – 2:37 pm
Jason Statham.
A rumbling carved-from granite cockerney chancer and one time British National Diving Squad member: Perfect for low-budget crap like Death Race and innumerable sequels right?
Wrong.
As he cements his place in the international action fraternity in upcoming Sly mercenary flick The Expendables, it’s time more people recognised The Stath for what he is – an iron willed made-in-Britain action monster that STS bloody loves!
To prove it, we’ve come up with the following list to showcase his versatility, believability and all-round ass-kickery as an actor. Duck and cover, and for God’s sake don’t make any bald jokes as we look at the only dodgy cockney ever to trade up from Kelly Brook, and check out the best of The Stath!
Gamer
0 CommentsSeptember 10, 2009 – 3:16 pm
The latest from the team behind the insanely ludicrous Crank franchise gets lost up its own adrenalin rush.
