Clint Eastwood can usually be relied on to deliver some gravitas and cultural nous with each successive release, although judging by the latest promo for his new supernatural drama ‘Hereafter’, he may be about to jump the shark and head off into M.Night Shymalan territory.
Still, Matt Damon is always good value and despite the over-keen use of Photoshop’s grey filter and bizarre Londoners sporting Yorkshire accents second act (not to mention a tube explosion -possibly a touch too sensitive for some) we’re reserving judgement for the moment.
From Nightmare on Elm Street to Heartless (an…uhhh…probably some others I expect…) our screens are currently boiling with the stench of sulpher and brimstone as faustian pacts are forged, ethereal barriers are broken down and nasty do-badders escape from the bounds of hell itself to inflict second-tier horror schlockers on our unwitting eyeballs -the Satanic rat bastards. Yep, Mephisto is definitely a guy who’s around for the long haul cinematically speaking, and while Heartless has Joseph Maul as a weird, voodoo-doing East End Devil, we’re sure there must be better ways to portray the one who walks backwards on screen. Oh, wait! There are! Yep, time to bathe in holy water, get Jim Caveizal round and hope it’s the power of Christ compelling us to sit through a bunch of shitty horror flicks, as we check out six of the best: Movie Satans!
1: Tim Curry: The Darkness (Legend)
Ok, so he goes by the name of The Darkness, but his clever disguise isn’t fooling us! One look at those three-foot long horns, fangs and bright red skin and we know exactly who we’re dealing with. Unfortunately for the erstwhile Frankenfurter, Curry’s decided to pick on the only being in existance more evil than he is – That’ll be Tom Cruise then. Still, scores extra devil points for his fantastically spooky arrival on screen; stepping out of a mirror. Well, a taxi doesn’t really scream ‘Prince of Darkeness’ does it? Easily the most evil appearence in Curry’s considerable repertoire (apart from the hotel manager in Home Alone 3 obviously).
It’s January, and unless you’re a citizen of Guam, it’s bloody freezing outside. What better time of year to stay in, order a huge pizza and rent a movie?
Despite the demise of Blockbuster, it seems plenty of people are too technologically retarded or just plain honest to steal movies off the internet, with Netflix, Lovefilm and those weird coinstar things you see in the mall all doing great business.
So, Friday night and you’re renting a movie -what’s it gonna be? Maybe a piece of classic Hitchcock suspense? How about some arty Kirosowa? Of course not -you’ll be renting absolute shit -And we have the figures to prove it!
Here, for your edification – god knows you need it based on this list – are the top five rental movies of 2009. You should be ashamed!
With Tarantino’s Basterds currently carving up critical opinion in the style of 1940s Berlin, we figured it was a perfect excuse to crack open the beers and watch a few two-fisted, boy’s own adventure WWII flicks. It’s all very well going on about Rambo and Arnie in Predator, but when it comes to kicking goose-stepping Nazi ass, you need a different calibre of hero entirely.
Join us as STS dons it’s goggles and fleece-lined RAF jacket, pops a pipe in it’s gob, and, in our very best BBC English, concocts some cockamamey mission to rescue Winston Churchill’s secret exploding cigars from a Bavarian castle. This type of who dares wins needs a very special set of protagonists, so join us as we bring you 6 of the best: Nazi Fighters!
Despite rumours that this is his final acting gig, Clint manages to stay nicely understated in Gran Torino and it’s to his credit that despite Academy disdain, Gran Torino has gone on to become his most succesful film. Just as Unforgiven put The Man With No Name neatly to bed, this plays out like a resolution to the Dirty Harry films – and a far better one than The Dead Pool at that. Read More »
