Once all the Imax-induced vertigo had passed, the common consensus round these here parts was that mega-blockbuster Avatar was..well, yeah, it was all right I suppose, if you like Dances With wolves and exploding helicopter gunships.
With that in mind it’s fair to say that the upcoming DVD extended cut had better be going some if it wants to stop audiences topping themselves half way through, especially given the three hour-plus running time and feature spread across three seperate disks. Amazingly though, this sounds like it might actually be worth getting.
Not only is it (of course) a piece of cinematic history (whether it’s a good or a bad one remains to be seen), but the film itself has some pretty groovy additions, including a screwed-up future planet Earth (looking an awful lot like Las Vegas for some reason) full of neon and breath masks, which gives a good insight into exactly a marine might prefer the deadly jungles of Pandora to returning home.
Anyhho, Big Jimbo’s latest is out on November 16th in the US, and will be available to steal on Pirate Bay four hours later.
Unlike most fanboys, I wasn’t salivating at the thought of a live action take on The Last Airbender. Not because I’m not into cartoons and crap obviously, but because I once worked for Virgin TV, where I was forced to quality check the entire thing at triple speed in one sitting, so heading back into an – by all reports – vastly inferior version of the weird flying bison world wasn’t really firing me up to start with.
That said, I did develop a weird affinity for the whole thing as it burned itself into my retinas so I was willing to give it a decent chance, but given that Roger Ebert of all people took time out from spouting overlong, boring quotations on twitter just to call M.Night Shyamalan an idiot over this, the signs didn’t look great.
The Oscars! Once a year, a bunch of hopeless weirdos get together and nominate the year’s worst movies to receive a foot-tall piece of plastic that’s been sprayed gold and give gushing three hour speeches. In the past few years the list of categories has grown so huge that the ceremony lasts approximately 6 weeks – just long enough for Steve Martin’s hourly rate to cover the HP on his Ferrari.
Anyway, because we are the best film site ever, we reckon we’ve ingested enough peyote to see into the future and predict who’s going to win, and because those fine purveyors of discount lovefilm memberships over at vouchercodes.co.uk are running a sweepstakes, we’re going to lay it on the line and go head to head with a few other sites that seem to think they know something about movies – even though not a single one of them has published a Jason Statham retrospective this year!
To make things simple, we’ve decided to ignore dorky categories like ‘Best Window Dressing’ and go with the big hitters –don’t agree? Why not you feckless dog? Well go on then, if you think you know better, tell us!
Ah the Great White Shark, cinema’s premiere super-beastie since the mid 70’s, is all set for a comeback according to insiders at Universal. Apparently the success of 3D releases – including of course, Mr.J.Cameron’s latest Avatar – means we’ll be seeing an all-new, all-intruding-into-your-eyeballs version of chum-chomping classic Jaws in the near future.
This also means of course, that the blockbuster has finally come full circle and will become extinct over the next few years, leaving us with independant releases about midewestern farmers struggling with homosexuality. And sharks.
An Expertly-rendered preview of Worthington as Dracula...
It may finally be time for vampire-kind to shake of f the blousy Twilight romantic image –with MTV reporting that big bad Sam Worthington is in talks to don cape and widow’s peak in the Batmaningly titled Dracula: Year Zero.
Worthington’s been enjoying a skyrocketing profile this year despite his appearance as a half-man-half-convoluted-storyline in the ailing Terminator franchise, while popping up as demi-god Perseus in the ‘not-testing-well-apparently’ Clash of the Titans doesn’t seem to have hurt his cred either. Oh..and of course, there’s a certain animated biggest movie ever as well…
Variety first let slip that a new movie was on the cards detailing the exploits of Transylvania’s most famous export (Cheeky Girls notwithstanding), with Alex Proyas behind the lens. Rather more worryingly, the script comes from the haunted pens of Matt Sazama and aptly-named Burk Sharpless, famous for the intergalactic shit-fest that was the Flash Gordon reboot, and details Vlad Tepes.Esq’s fist steps towards virgin-eating immortality.
Do you think Vlad needs another do-over after the appalling Dracula 200? Or are Vampires passé –is it all about Werewolves and Ghost-Ninjas this year? Let us know!
