Tag Archives: Aliens

Review: Monsters

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Going in to former BBC visual effects guru Gareth Edwards’s first big screen foray, it’s forgivable if audience and reviewer alike are amped up in expectation of this year’s ‘District 9′, so it comes as a shock when we get a rambling, very human drama that meanders along at a pace that matches it’s protagonists long trip across central America towards their comfy suburban homes.

In terms of plot, there’s a fairly straightfoward setup that’s efficiantly dealt with in the opening credits. At some point in the past a space probe is sent to investigate possible alien life, on it’s return, the probe breaks up over Mexico, causing strange new life-forms to arise and spread. In the panic the US and Mexico wall off much of central America and begin a long running (and possibly futile) battle to halt the spread.

Cast into the middle of this we find photographer Andrew (a rangey and able Scoot McNairy), tasked with escorting his boss’ injured daughter Sam (the elfin, and frankly too-sexy-by-half Whitney Able) home from South America. With no ferries or air travel available across the ‘infected zone’, they find themselves forced to cross the heavily guarded no man’s land, first in the company of gun-weilding mercenaries, then finally trekking up to a mile high wall erected as protection by the US.

Of cours, the US has resorted to walls and violence to keep the alien invaders out – anyone miss the metaphor?

And that, in a nutshell, is the biggest problem here. The heavy handed preaching unfortuantely becomes grating and patronises the audience, while the central characters lack empathy – Sam is a spoilt little rich girl, Andrew is..well, a bit of a dick really, meaning scenes which could have been emotionally stirring are rendered isolated and quickly dismissed. The characters (of course) begin to fall for each other, but they never develop in any noticable way despite the horrors they witness on their journey.

Edwards litters the script with wishy-washy liberalisms too. The soldiers in the jungle talk about the wall with Sam who agrees “hey, yeah, it’s like, we’re fencing ourselves in…man…” while on reaching the wall Andrew pipes up with the oh-so-wise 2 it’s so weird, looking into the US from outside, you know? And tomorrow it’ll be so easy to forget all this…”

Wow man…like…mind. BLOWN!

or not. If you’ve a modicum of intelligence you’ll recognise these as first year student ramblings, poorly formed and ill-advised. The underlying message here is that hey, even if things seem different, we’re all the same deep down man,. Can’t we all just get along? A point hammered home as the pair witness a bizarre alien mating ritual once they’re over the border. Hey man, they tried to stem the flood of illegal aliens into the country, but they got in anyway dude, and hey – they’re a lot like us really aren’t they? (apart from being 80-foot tall photonic Octopusephants obviously).

On the plus side Edwards has a superlative eye for cinematography, catching the startling latin scenery in awe inspiring detail. Magnificent ancient ziggaruts contrast starkly with scenes of urban decay and genuinely realistic military destruction, while the waters on an ill-advised river trip are magical, calling to mind Eric Gautier’s wonderful work in The Motorcycle Diaries. The quiet beauty is wonderfully realised.

As a nature documentary, this would be stirring stuff, but as a movie, it’s meandering, overlong and misguided. it’s crass to say so but the film fairly cries out for a few good action sequences. Instead we get a mish-mash of ‘Blue Planet’ with splashes of Jurassic Park and Schindlers List, minus the excitement or emotional heft of either.

Overall, this is a good looking but unrewarding watch.

NewsGush: The Thing Prequel Trailer Leaks Onto Web

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Unfortunately it’s in glorious head-in-way vision, but who cares – here’s your first peak at next years frozen creepout fest – The Thing Prequel. Not many details are forthcoming regarding the exact plot this update/reboot/pre-boot to John Carpenter’s ‘82 classic will take, but so far but we do know it’ll feature Norwegians (or ‘Crazy Swedes’ if you prefer) giant blocks of ice, dynamite, flame-throwers and of course, gigantic exploding spider-head beasts from beyond the stars!

NewsGush: New Skyline Trailer – Now THIS Is How You Make A Science Fiction Movie!

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Tentacles, exploding stealth bombers, giant killer robots. Yep, the new trailer for upcoming sci-fi monsterpiece Skyline just hit the web, and while the acting might leave something to be desired, who cares when you’ve got helicopter-chomping gloop beasts and fighter jet vs. UFO action like this?

Pandorum

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Christian Alvert makes a brave go at weak source material, but can’t hide the tutelage of producer Paul W.S Anderson in a poorly realised Sci-Fi mish-mash.

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Six Of The Best: Movie Assholes!

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“I knew It! I’m surrounded by assholes!” Wise words indeed as Gunner’s Mate, First Class Phillip J. Asshole (Recently promoted by his cousin Major Asshole) confirms Dark Helmet’s deepest fears in that classic piece of modern cinema, Spaceballs. But the asshole isn’t just a comedy device by any means.

Think of any movie -which character really stays with you? The Hero? Nah, too goody-goody. Sure some are memorable, but it’s mainly when they behave like pricks, throwing people off buildings and slapping them around in the name of justice that we really like them. How about the villain? Yeah yeah, Darth was imposing enough, and The Terminator is a stone cold killer, but did they bring anything new to the table? The one thing guaranteed to elevate these two dimensional stereotypes above the pack is the pithy one-liner, the sneering self confidence to do what the other guy won’t, and to hell with what anyone thinks.

In short, being a dick.

In art, as in life, behaving like a real shit rules rules, which is why STS decided to weed out the greatest gits in cinematic history and leave their cheese out in the wind (tm Mr. Rooney -Ferris Bueller’s day off). Yep, it’s Six of The Best: Movie Assholes!

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