The Other Guys

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Going solely on the trailers, the latest effort from Will Ferrell looks like a return to form, a crazed mish-mash of Lethal Weapon action and Anchorman stupidity. And it is. But for some reason, it just doesn’t gel.

Things get off to a promising start, with New York super cops Danson & Highsmith (Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson) blasting their way through criminals, driving a 1960’s muscle car through the side of a bus, blowing up buildings and firing off enough hot lead to drown a Terminator, and despite the reckless endangerment and massive property damage, they’re beloved by the population of New York and the worldwide media.

Of course, it isn’t all guns and glamour in the NYPD, which is where Ferrel, a safe, quiet and relentlessly stable Police accountant comes in. Teamed up with a bizzarrely hirsute Marky Mark when Danson & Highsmith jump to their death in a ridiculous display of bravado, it’s up to the worst cops in the precinct to take down Steve Coogan’s Bernard Madoff-like businessman and save the police pension fund.

All pretty formulaic no?

And that’s half the problem (we’ll get to the other half in a bit).

The Other Guys follows a very basic plotline that works out ok, and has some very funny lines. Ferrell’s background as a naive pimp named Gator is hilarious, and Wahlberg shows some likeable comic timing, coming off as likeable and genuine while directing traffic, lusting after Ferrell’s ‘plain wife’ (actually a smoking hot Eva Mendes). The whole thing is crammed to bursting with ridiculous one liners, idiotic situations (dirty Mike’s homeless orgies are a particular standout), and a relentless driving pace.

So what went wrong?

Ass is the norm for Ferrell’s movies, things don’t quite fit together properly. You get the feeling that someone had four or five unused scripts lying around and rammed them uncomfortably together. Of course, in a bit of nonsence like this, that’s not really a major problem. Instead, The Other Guy’s problems sit squarely in the lap of director Adam McKay.

The whole thing is poorly paced and badly shot, to the extent that any life and vibrancy is sucked right out of the thing, and it’s not just a question of scale. If this had been shot in an intimate TV show style it would be balls-out hilarious. Likewise, if they’d stuck McG at the helm and soaked it in slick then we’d be on to a winner (and I promise never to associate the name McG with the concept of win again). Instead, the movie hovers in a washed out, curiously 80’s middle ground, with action not as exciting as it should be, gjokes not as funny, and the whole thing…well, just underwhelming.

This has some of the best comedy lines and concepts of the year, but much like Ferrell’s wooden gun (a long story involving Michael Keaton and a poorly executed ‘desk-pop’…), it fails to leave a lasting impression.

Definitely worth waiting for the DVD, as a small screen would be infinitely more suitable.

We Check Out The Sony 4K Cinema. And Toy Story 3. Again.

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projector

…we watched it again, yes. But only because it’s so bloody ridiculously good.  And they gave us free beer.

But this time we saw it in the Apollo cinema in London on a Sony 4K 3D Screen.

What does this mean? You ask. These numbers, letters and brand names are all a bit Electric Spectre for Slashing The Seats, a blog more at home with yelling at crappy directors and praising lord god Robocop.

Well, let me tell you.  Sony 4K projects are a new thing that makes watching 3D movies actually pretty cool. The technology behind 3D is a bit of a dick really. It’s like listening to an amazing story delivered by someone with a mildly annoying voice. You see, 3D is delivered by showing one frame designed for your left eye, and then one  for your right eye. At 24 frames per second. For hours. This messes with your brain a touch and is why it gives people headaches. Your brain and eyes are designed for the real world, not trickery.

What Sony 4K does is have two projectors, one for an eye each. Meaning your brain doesn’t get confused, overheat and cause you to drool into your popcorn. And it makes the screen brighter, crisper, less flickery and generally, nice.

It’s 3D without being a dick about it.

It also has a ridiculously huge pixel count. So it makes my newly bought 1080p 42 inch TV look like a turd. Bastards.

We were given a nice talk from a man from Sony, clearly excited by his own product, explaining all of this and a dude from Apollo cinemas telling us they’ll start rolling these projectors out across their chain.

So, if you like proper 3D delivered..err.. properly, head on down to one of their cinemas…

And yes Toy Story 3 is bloody amazing. But you’ve already read the proper review, haven’t you!?

Newsgush: The Green Hornet Arrives!

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The Green Hornet already has a pretty jumpy production history, with rumours of the suits being none too pleased by the direction the Seth Rogen actioner was taking. Well, the first trailer just arrived on Apple, so now we can judge for ourselves. It’s certainly a mixed bag, the tone seems to suggest an odd mix of Rogen’s usual comedy butting heads with a much more serious Batman-esque actioner, although Gondry’s visuals and some of the effects are certainly striking.

What do you think? We’re reserving judgement for now, but could this be an all-out actioner with gags in the style of Die Hard, or is it too knowing and silly for it’s own good?

Review:Jonah Hex

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Jonah Hex

Oh dear oh dear. Remember Ghost Rider? Rubbish wasn’t it? A badly CGI’d Nic Cage rolling about and taking down crappy MTV villains while comedy Hammer Horror mist floated about and Sam Neill did lots of expositional mumbling. Bloody awful. In it’s favour though, it was undeniably fun. Cage and the crew obviously realising the sheer stupidity of the material and the script and just rolling with it, adding a charm that made it far more enjoyable than it had any right to be. Suffice to say, Jonah Hex leaves its sense of humour at the door….

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Six (Six Six) Of The Best: Movie Satans!

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ln3

From Nightmare on Elm Street to Heartless (an…uhhh…probably some others I expect…) our screens are currently boiling with the stench of sulpher and brimstone as faustian pacts are forged, ethereal barriers are broken down and nasty do-badders escape from the bounds of hell itself to inflict second-tier horror schlockers on our unwitting eyeballs -the Satanic rat bastards. Yep, Mephisto is definitely a guy who’s around for the long haul cinematically speaking, and while Heartless has Joseph Maul as a weird, voodoo-doing East End Devil, we’re sure there must be better ways to portray the one who walks backwards on screen. Oh, wait! There are! Yep, time to bathe in holy water, get Jim Caveizal round and hope it’s the power of Christ compelling us to sit through a bunch of shitty horror flicks, as we check out six of the best: Movie Satans!

1: Tim Curry: The Darkness (Legend)

Ok, so he goes by the name of The Darkness, but his clever disguise isn’t fooling us! One look at those three-foot long horns, fangs and bright red skin and we know exactly who we’re dealing with. Unfortunately for the erstwhile Frankenfurter, Curry’s decided to pick on the only being in existance more evil than he is – That’ll be Tom Cruise then. Still, scores extra devil points for his fantastically spooky arrival on screen; stepping out of a mirror. Well, a taxi doesn’t really scream ‘Prince of Darkeness’ does it? Easily the most evil appearence in Curry’s considerable repertoire (apart from the hotel manager in Home Alone 3 obviously).

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