Woody Allen’s latest has been out for a while in foreign parts, finally geeting a release here in blighty, but don’t panic -you haven’t been missing much.
So, Woody Allen. Let’s make this clear right now. He’s shit. There, it’s down on cyber-paper. I said it. feel free to add comments calling me an unintellectual pig who knows dick-all about filmmaking. I couldn’t give a crap, because you’re wrong and I’m right. Allen is a man who’d made a career out of one vaguely smirk-inducing moment in Sleeper. And that’s it.
Let’s make a Woody Allen movie together and see how Whatever Works stacks up shall we?
Clips and Pics from upcoming offworld-actioner Predators are ten a penny on the net this month, but this clip courtesy of BDTV bought back such fond memories of a childhood spent shouting ‘This stuff’ll make you a godammn sexual tyrannosaur’ that we had to show it.
An almost shot-for-shot recreation of the original movie as Adrian Brody’s mercs encounter the multi-mandibled hunter-killer for the first time, we also get to catch a glimpse of a very special cinematic weapon – yep, Old Painless is back!
The arrival of a new Harry Potter movie is always cause celebre round at STS towers, partly because we are entirely staffed by illegally imported child labourers, and partly because I quite closely resemble Voldemort.
Anyway -the new Deathly Hallows trailer hit the web today, and it seems that Harry is still more than capable of seeing off the hordes of Twihards despite his advancing years.
Continuing the series’ now trademark descent into ever darker territory, the trailer hints that many of the books more whimsical elements will still find their way onto the screen, while the outstanding effects work promises a truly awesome final showdown with he who shall not be named.
As someone who actually makes something I laughingly refer to as a living from memes, apps, tools and general online doodads, I’ve been awaiting the Facebook movie ‘The Social Network’ with some trepidation, mainly because it will mean one of two things;
A:Tons of gibbering chimpos will watch it, hear the numbers being bandied around and set themselves up as ‘Social Media Gurus’ on Twitter, meaning it’ll be even harder for me to get a gig. Or
B:Tons of gibbering chimpos will watch it, and realise that what I do for a living isn’t actually that hard, I’ve just been fooling people into paying me over the odds.
Whatever, this new trailer has just pooped up over at www.500millionfriends.com, and it looks like the history of Monsiour Zuckerburg and his all-pervasive ivy league yearbook is going for the tense, courtroom drama angle. How tense you can get with Justin Timberlake as your leading man is up for debate, but will it hold Facebook’s creators up as heros -or point them out for ridicule?
More to the point -does anyone really give a shit about watching a college boy in a hoody make several billion dollars because people love to poke, farm and off each other Mafia style at this point?
To be honest, I didn’t have high hopes for The Collector. Speaking as a man who gave up on the Saw franchise after number two (in name and nature), I don’t have a lot of time for torture-pon grot. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still got an old vhs of The Beyond I dig out once in a while, so I’ve nothing against ridiculously gratuitous splattering. I just prefer it when it serves the plot, rather than being the plot.Still, it was a quiet Friday and I’d managed to blag free tickets, so I figured I’d check it out – and I’m actually glad I did.
Director Dunstan worked alongside writer Patrick Melton on the aforementioned Saw franchise, as well as the ludicrous/idiotic Feast films, but here they manage to break away from by-the-numbers splatter and actually tie-in some serious questions aboout the nature of evil.
Josh Stewart is Arkin, a debt-ridden cat burglar breaking into an isolated and seemingly deserted house. But what’s this? That’s right readers! It isn’t deserted at all. The family who live there have been tied up about the place, and the perpetrator (Juan Fernández in full Leatherface mode) has set a series of bizarre, jigsaw-esque traps about the place. Hey -it could happen to anyone.
Credulity aside, it does open up a barrel of interesting moral worms, Arkin torn between the needs to rob, run or help the victims, and his internal conflict does wonders to spice up the otherwise overused home-invasion macguffin. And while the ‘torturous traps bit has been similarly overdone, there’s still enough invention on show here to provide some decent seat-jump moments (watch out for those bear-traps!).
...he knows when you've been sleeping..he knows when you're awake...
Combining two highly overused horror tropes and chucking in a stock loony in a bad mask shouldn’t work at all, but by cutting out any flab from the script and choosing to focus on the emotional dilemma as much as the flesh-ripping, the Collector drags itself out of the hostel for used gorno to take it’s rightful place as a lean and very mean chop-job.
