Seeing as The Dude himself recently saw fit to strap on a guitar and bash out a few maudlin country tunes in the Oscar-bothering Crazy Heart, cementing his place (We’ll forget about ‘The Fabulous Baker Boys for now…and forever) in an illustrious list of wandering minstrels who haven’t always managed to pluck the heart strings of the academy committee. We decided to open our ears to some new vibes, man, so join us as we update our spotify playlists with…the best musicians in movies!
1: Beethoven (1770 -1988- 1827 ) Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
Essential Ipod:The 1812 Overture – by far the finest example of cannon-based Germanic shouting to emerge from the classical era.
Eschewing the obvious choice of Mssrs B&T themselves, we’ve instead gone with the big-barneted Düsseldorf madman with a passion for Bon Jovi. The film may conveniently ignore the fact that Ludwig was stone deaf at the time the two west coast time travellers meet him, but then, Beethoven biographer Theodore Albrecht entirely ignores his close friendship with Billy the Kid too, so we figure it’s even.
2: Nigel Tufnell (1948 – ) This is Spinal Tap
Essential Ipod: Big Bottom.The only tune containing the words ‘Mud Flaps’ you’re ever likely to need on that ‘first date playlist’.
He’s a conundrum is ol’ Nige. Somehow he’s survived the barrage of sex, drugs, exploding drummers and diminishing returns to come out on top with Wembley arena gigs, marriage to Trading Places-era Jamie Lee Curtis, a peerage and infinite sustain. Managed to make lick my love pump’s horn section sound like Mozart rogering Bach.
3: Radio Raheem (1970 – 1989)- Fight the Power
Essential Ipod: Fight the Power, incendiary and poignant, Public Enemy’s justly legendary album isn’t quite juvenile enough for us-fortunately there’s an all-swearing version of NWA’s similarly themed Straight Outta Compton that is!
Not a muso in the traditional sense, Radio still manages to entertain the inhabitants of a 12 city block area with ‘his kind of music’, and looks damn good doing it in his classic Nikes. The fact that his chosen instrument is a gargantuan boombox running on enough D Energizers to drain half the city that also manages to spark a riot and ultimately kill Raheem is testament to its profound musical power.
4: Pierce Brosnan (1953 – well, his singing career died in 2008 anyway ) Mama Mia
Essential Ipod: Mamma Mia (Karaoke Version)
Having had a pretty decent crack at Bond, Pierce proved it wasn’t just exotically-monikered Russian agents he could murder, wrapping his vocal cords around Abba’s monster hits with all the deadly effectiveness of Xenia Onatopp’s killer thighs. Those who thought the Swedish superstar’s dollops of pure pop were impervious to cover version harm stood on astounded as Mr.Brosnan threw caution and years of Remington Steele suavity to the wind in a few seconds, burping out his lines in the manner of a rutting wildebeest.
5: Huey Lewis (1950-1985-1955-1855-1985…) Back To The Future
Essential Ipod: Hip To Be Square. Huey displays remarkable self-awareness, having a sneaky go at his legions of 80’s MOR fans a full decade before Kurt managed the same trick with Nirvana’s In Bloom.
Displaying a sartorial style that almost matches the musical genius that bought us..erm…the harp solo in Thin Lizzy’s ‘Sarah’…Huey dons plaid sports coat and turns down Marty’s awful band The Pinheads, despite the fact that they’re playing one of his own songs. Huey was of course quick to capitalise on this early celluloid success, appearing in Duets a mere 11 years later and belting out some truly shocking karaoke numbers that only appear acceptable because his main competition is Paul Giamatti’s pig-like grunting.
Nick Rivers – Top Secret (1984/Sometime in the 40s, 50’s or possible 60’s…)
Essential Ipod: Skeet Shootin’. The Beach Boys were fine, but they never really grasped the unique pleasure to be had from surfing…while firing a 12-guage shotgun recklessly in the air. The fact that Nick captures this and still finds room for some squeaky-clean west coast harmonies proves his lasting appeal.
OK, so he may be derivative of Elvis and Little Richard, but you wouldn’t catch those guys dressing up as a pantomime cow to storm a castle, let alone order flaming hog’s balls at a state banquet. Displaying the kind of confidence – and massive bouffant -that will get you locked up in cold war East germany, Nick wastes no time in getting to know the guards…and recommending a massive anal vibrator to them.
