Monthly Archives: January 2010

Kick Some Ass – The Best Movie Martial Arts!

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Despite all our bright eyed looking to the future lately, here at STS we’re still a bunch of miserable old bastards – a fact resolutely hammered home by the recent news that Jackie Chan is now old enough to play Mr.Miyagi. The greatest Martial artist of our youth – after China O’Brien – reduced to playing a wrinkly Yoda analogue. Add to this the fact that he’s accompanied by Jaden Smith -meaning The Fresh Prince is old enough to have a son -and we can almost hear the undertakers sizing us up as we dodder down the street.

Now, other blogs might try to age with dignity, but inspired by Jackie, we’ve decided to fight the ageing process to the death, and in order to take out such a dastardly opponent, we’ll need the finest martial arts movie makers can possibly conjure! If you made it through that convoluted opening paragraph then you might just be tough enough to check out The Greatest Movie Martial Arts!

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Down In front!: Top Movie Audience Dickheads!

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3D movies are all the rage right now, mainly because they’re a hell of a lot more difficult to pirate than regular ones. Yep, Hollywood’s money men are running scared, convinced that the death of cinema is upon us. It isn’t of course – where else can you get nachos covered in what can only be described as electric cheese, costing £32 and served to you by a fat, spotty urchin with his finger in his ear? Culinary delights aside however, there is something to be said for staying at home – the main one being you don’t have to put up with the following group of bottom feeders. Yep, we hate them too – it’s the top dickheads you meet at the movies!

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What The Hell Are You Watching!? The Top Rental Movies Of 2009.

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Transmorphers

It’s January, and unless you’re a citizen of Guam, it’s bloody freezing outside. What better time of year to stay in, order a huge pizza and rent a movie?

Despite the demise of Blockbuster, it seems plenty of people are too technologically retarded or just plain honest to steal movies off the internet, with Netflix, Lovefilm and those weird coinstar things you see in the mall all doing great business.

So, Friday night and you’re renting a movie -what’s it gonna be? Maybe a piece of classic Hitchcock suspense? How about some arty Kirosowa? Of course not -you’ll be renting absolute shit -And we have the figures to prove it!

Here, for your edification – god knows you need it based on this list – are the top five rental movies of 2009. You should be ashamed!

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Twilight Twattoos

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Tattoos! An ancient rite stretching back to the dawn of history, tattoos should represent something unique and personal that deserves permanent recognition.

Or if you’re an idiot…

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NewsGush – New Kick Ass Trailer

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More reasons to get excited – the new theatrical trailer for Kick-Ass! All set to preview at this year’s SXSW, a movie with a nine-year-old assassin and Nic Cage killing people while wearing his wife’s mascara can’t be all bad can it?

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