A brave new decade awaits us, and what better time for Hollywood to face the future and bring us a bright movie going tomorrow?
Not that it’ll happen of course. Yep, Back To The Future part II predicted that this will be the decade when Max Spielberg steps up to the plate with his 3D Jaws XX, but the STS magic 8-Ball tells us there’s far, far worse than that to come.
Strap on your blinkers and pretend it’s all ok – over the next week we’ll bring you a comprehensive guide to all the ‘fun’ heading your way in 2010 – duck and cover for part one of our cut-out-and-break-your-computer guide!
It’s Christmas, and as the STS staffers head off to steal a huge roast dinner from the local home for blind, orphaned unipeds, we’d like to wish all our readers a very drunken, happy season. We’re planning on being in the pub for the next few days, but join us in the New Year for a roundup of next summer’s biggest hitters.
In the meantime it’s question time! We feel like we know each and every one of you on a deep, intimate level (yep, all 14 of you…) but we want to know more dammit! So sit back, open the sherry and let us know which flicks make the holiday season bearable – Nothing quite says Christmas like Trading Places (above), a movie that combines a suicidal, drunken Santa with Jamie Lee Curtis’ magnificent rack, or maybe Gremlin’s, a heart warming story of Phoebe Cates’ (another magnificent rack. There’s a theme developing here…) dad breaking his neck, so he can’t join in the festive fun when a group of demonic bastards invade his home town, there’s plenty to choose from, so let us know-what’s your favourite Christmas Movie? Hey-it’s got to beat sitting around eating Aunt Pru’s fruitcake again right?
Jaws – it’s fucking brilliant isn’t it? I mean, you’ve got a killer shark, and Roy from Seaquest, and several lacklustre sequels – some of them in 3D! Could it get any better? You betcha, thanks to our new favourite artist Dave MacDowell!
With a stunning style and a Samuel L. Jackson obsession in tow, he may not be inspiring as many movie plots as Da Vinci, but at least his prints are affordable and ideal for the movie nut in your life this Christmas, which is more than you can say for the Mona Lisa.
A Huge ominous SPACECRAFT moves toward camera. It is similar in design to the human CRYO TRANSPORT from AVATAR. However, this craft is designed for war. Racks of missiles hang off it and it has military markings on it. Clearly this is a dangerous warship.
INT. INSIDE THE SHIP. THE CRYO CHAMBERS.
A weightless figure (Male, 20s, Military look) floats over to a CRYO TUBE, presses a release and the tube slides out revealing a human figure inside. He is male, mid 40s and has a military style look also. He is waking up but seems disoriented.
FLOATING FIGURE
Good morning Sergent. It looks like we’re almost at the destination. Enjoy your cryosleep.
SERGENT
Feels like I’ve been kicked in the head. Lets get to this.
So, you’re a billionaire -you’d probably be sinking a few martini’s as well right? And if you decided to start a sideline in superheroics, then why wear spandex when you have a perfectly good suit of armour full of guns in the basement?
Yep, Stark is back, the Avengers are rolling, and with the arrival of whiplash and longtime Iron enemy Justin Hammer, Iron Man 2 is gearing up to be one of next years brightest and best!
