OK, now I’m seriously having issues with the whole remake / adapt / rip off thing Hollywood is doing right now. I guess I can understand the thinking behind adapting games like Mario Brothers (huge child-cash-sack fanbase) Tomb Raider (horny male-cash-sack fanbase and readymade plot) and while I don’t think it’s a good idea to make movies based on games, at least I can see the fuzzy logic behind it. There is still something vaguely understandable.
But can someone please explain how Asteroids – a game made up of shooting monochrome polygons with another monochrome polygon and NO CHARACTERS OR PLOT WHATSOEVER deserves a move adaptation?
So there will be an asteroids movie, scripted by Matthew Lopez who has previously penned the Adam Sandler meh-fest Bedtime Stories and, surprise surprise, the remake of Witch Mountain.
What next? As Hollywood descends deeper into adapting whatever it notices on the way to the office, can we expect heartwarming indie rom-com ‘Lamp Post: The Movie’? CGI children’s adventure – ‘Litter – A Crisp Packet’s Tale’? Or perhaps all action blockbuster ‘Vending Machine Fury (starring Vin Diesel)?
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No way! Did the Asteroids game have one of those intro screens with a half baked plot that Hollywood could use as a starting point?
I wonder if they’ll stay faithful to the spaceship design…
They could do snake from the Nokia phones which would then open up the possibility of spin-off mashup “snake vs asteroids”. Some fucker needs to get me Uwe Boll’s number RIGHT NOW.
this is going to be fucking amazing! If it’s a hit, we can look forward to Manic Miner, Jet-Pak, and of course…Daley Thompson’s Olympics! In the future, a nonegarian Thompson is forced to hammer two joypad keys as fast as he can, his movements controlling athletic robots…oh hang on..isn’t that the plot for ”Avatar’?
They’ve already done it. It was called Armageddon.